Unemployed Single father
Where to begin I am 32 almost 33 years old with a 6 year old son and I am unemployed and I don’t know what to do. I lost my last job as a restaurant manager at the end of January because of the economic slow down and have not been able to find another job. My past has really hurt my ability to find another job, which is my own fault. I wish I could change my past but because I can’t, I am seeking help so I can provide for my son.
When I was 19 and 20 I was a drug user and not thinking about any thought of a future. I stole money and was caught that was in 1996. While waiting for my trial in early 1997, I fell through the cracks of the justice system in Oregon. I was given a court date at a pre-trail hearing that happened to be wrong and when I showed up at court I misinterpreted what the court clerk told me. When I asked what it means if my name was not called she told me that could mean my case was dropped. So I continued to live my life like nothing happened, though I did quit taking crystal meth. I knew in my heart that the case was not dismissed and waited for the other shoe to drop. There was a officer who came to my new job in 1998 while I wasn’t there to find me and left his card for me to contact him. That night after getting his card, I was about to call him while I watching the local news. Right before I was about to call I saw on the news that night the officer who left his card for me was arrested for selling drugs out of his police car, so I did not call. I went on with life until early 1999. In this time I had moved into salaried management for the first time. I had quit taking drugs for the most part with very rare use of marijuana but my past use of meth left me with what is termed meth mouth with rotting teeth.
My second day after my promotion to assistant manager I was leaving work at around midnight and running to catch the bus across the street. There was no traffic and I saw the bus coming so I ran across the street before waiting for the cross walk. Little did I know that a local police officer saw me and he stopped me at the bus stop. While I did hope and wanted to believe that my case was dismissed, I knew it wasn’t. So when the officer ran my name he found I was wanted and he took me to jail. After my release I had to explain to my boss what had happened and I did explain truthfully what my past was. Thank goodness he had a past with drugs and he kept me employed. So when I went to court this time I explained my actions in the past and what happened to me and made a plea in which I had to serve a 10 day sentence and do community service with a 2 year probation.
In 2001 with my probation about to end I knew I needed a new start so I decided I needed to move. I decided on Arizona, I wish I had a reason to choose Arizona but the only thing I can think of was the weather. I had contacted a former employer whose operations had closed in Oregon but continued in Arizona about a job. So when my probation was concluded I moved and tried to move beyond my past, but it quickly caught up with me. When I took the new job it was for a salaried management but I arrived they did a fresh background check and of course my theft conviction was found. They offered a lesser position but said my conviction would prevent me from promotion.
In late 2002 I moved in with my future ex-wife and she became pregnant and we got married that December in Vegas. When my son was born in April of 2003, I had made a complete change from my past. I had quit all drugs including marijuana since my move to the state and got a car and got my license, which up to that point I never got. Later that year I finally got another salaried management job but I had lied about having a felony on my application to get the job. I thought finally I could forget about my past and just worry about my future. It was short lived though since I had married the wrong person, my wife at the time took a job working as a mystery shopper and her work caused a conflict of interest. She had decided to shop restaurants that belonged to the chain I worked for. When I found out I asked her to stop since my employer knew she was doing that, but she kept on doing them causing me to lose my job. I was lucky and was able to find another job, but during my search I had found out how hard it was becoming to find a job with a felony conviction. I can’t blame companies, would you want to hire someone convicted of theft?
I did find another job in which new boss listened to my explanation of my past and he still chose to hire me. It was going great for about 18 months at that job until my personal life finally became such a challenge. My ex-wife first left for about a week and took my son and refused to let me see him during that time. At the same time at work I gotten a new supervisor and he wanted to replace me with one of his people. After my wife came back she then borrowed my car and got into an accident and totaled the vehicle. When I came to the scene she informed me that she canceled the insurance on it. Well with my personal life in disarray and a new boss looking for a reason to replace me, I went out and found a new job. This time again after several months I learned that I had to lie on my application about my felony record to get a job.
Well I got this new job and hoped that with the better schedule I could save my marriage. Well this was late 2006 when I took this job and my marriage last until early January. I was driving home from work the same night as BCS championship game in Glendale and I was driving my wife’s car. I got pulled over and found out she had no paperwork for the car and received a ticket. She again left but this time she did not take me son. I found out after she left that she had left a lot of unpaid bills. It took 10 months for our divorce to become final and when it did I was left with sole custody and her having to pay child support. During this time she had accused me of rape and beating her, which I had never done. I do think her false accusations helped me received sole custody and make her have supervised visits.
So here I was a single dad with very little since she took most furnishing and child clothing with her along with his toys, and I had to move. I was lucky that I had a friend at work that was about to rent out there house in Buckeye and another friend who could take over child care while I was work. While I never received a full payment of child support I thought ok I can finally start over again and I did for a while. I got my son signed up for school here in Buckeye and things were starting to get better. I got some new stuff and was able to get a car. My career was going great with my store always beating budget and my son was doing good at school. Well that was until January of 2009.
In late January my boss arrived at my location and he let me go. Well he didn’t just let me go but suspended me and told me he would call the next day. I had made a simple counting mistake on a non-required inventory. Well he never did call and while I do admit I made a mistake it did not affect any of my numbers that I had to report to him monthly. So I filed unemployment and tried to find another job and go back to school.
This time it was different looking for a job. First in this economic environment jobs are harder to come by, add on top of that the increase of all companies using background checks even for entry level jobs. Second right before I lost my job I got pulled over and found out I had unpaid tickets and had my license suspended, so I had my car taken. By the time I went to court I had lost my job and have not been able to pay the original ticket of $2300 and now I had to add another ticket of 1187 that I was going to have to pay, plus I lost my car. Try finding a job in this market with a felony record and no driver license or car and no way to change either for the time being. I have tried going back to school so I can get new job skills, there again I am confronted by something I didn’t do when I was 18. To qualify for government aid you have to sign up for selective service when you were 18, I thought I did sign up but there is no record of me signing up.
So here I am 32 almost 33 a single father with no car, no job trying to find employment. Not receiving any child support from my ex-wife, even though I found assets in her name. I just found out that my unemployment was canceled because of my employer appealing the decision of unemployment. I don’t know what to do. I have signed up for state aid, but those benefits are limited and small. I am renting a house but I don’t think I will be able to pay next months rent and there is no aid available to help. Well no aid to keep me in the house I am in now unless I can show that I have way to pay future months. My son just graduated from kindergarten and I am worried about what I can do. I don’t have a family which can help I have used up the little bit of saving these last several months. I am at a loss; I have applied at every place near my location. I have been told I am over qualified for several and my lack of a license or car has kept me from others. My credit is destroyed and not able to take a loan to fix either of them.
I know that I am where I am because of decisions I have made in my life. I wish I could change many of those decisions but I can not. All I want from life is to provide for my son and to have a chance to improve our place in life. I am not looking for a handout; I just need a hand-up. I need a little direction or suggestions on what I can do. I am struggling to figure it out and I just want to know what I can do. I am almost to the 10 year point after my conviction where I can apply to have my record expunged by a judge in Oregon and I hope I am successful. I also hope I am successful in being able to go to school with government aid to improve my lot in life. Right now I am just concern with taking care of my son and making sure we do not become homeless and have the lights turned off. I don’t know if anyone will read this but I am praying that someone will see this and might be able to give guidance to me on what to do. I never thought I would be to the point of asking for this kind of help. So please any amount will be helpful I am behind in rent (900) and electrity (260)
Thank You,
